Dear Rory
by Fidelian
Summary: What if the kiss Jess and Rory shared in The Real Paul Anka wasn't just closure? Lit! Reviews are love.
1. The letter

Author's note: This is my first Gilmore Girls-fic (Sorry all my HP-mates!) and of course it is Jess/Rory. This is Jess's way of processing Rory's actions in 6x18 "The Real Paul Anka". Please review.

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Dear Rory,

I love you. After these years, all the changes I've gone through, all of the rejections and tears and goodbyes. I still am as much in love with you as I was that first time I saw you - the bookish, beautiful, complicated person that you were then and still are to this day. How else could you explain what happened earlier tonight?

You kissed me. I probably kissed you first, but you kissed me back. Did you know that you still smell the same way you did three years ago? Coffee and flowers and heaven. You tasted like coffee too, which isn't very surprising, is it?

I can't believe that I never will taste you again, that we never will read together again, never listen to music together again. You will never ever again look at me like you did tonight. I don't think you know how much that kills me, and what lengths I would go through to change that.

You have a boyfriend. A rich, smooth-talking, disturbingly handsome boyfriend who probably loves you, underneath all the shit he puts you through. I know this because I know you, Rory, and I know that you never would be with someone who treats you like crap. I bet you learned that lesson after our relationship, right? I wasn't a perfect boyfriend, I know that now, but at the time I did what I thought was fair to you, if that makes any difference. And by leaving, I thought I was doing you a huge favour. Turns out I probably was, but that doesn't really make me entirely happy. I hope it makes you happy, though.

I'm rambling now. I guess what I'm trying to say by writing you this is one thing – thank you, Rory. Thank you for giving me the best year of my life, thank you for trying to straighten me out (looks like you were successful in the end), and, above all, thank you for giving me a small peek into heaven – because that's what being with you was like. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you this years ago, because you deserve to hear it every day.

And now I've realized that I sound like a complete idiot. If I ever have the guts to mail you this, please don't laugh. Or, on second thought, please do, because you seem like you could need a laugh right now. Glad to be of service.

I love you.

Jess


	2. Dear Jess

July 22nd 2007

Dear Jess,

Thank you for writing to me. I feel like I know you better now than I ever did before. Although I thought that you had forgotten all about me. How come you didn't send me the letter until now? It's been over a year since that night. I have never forgotten it, and I've thought of it more times than I'd like to admit, but I never thought about how much it must have hurt you.

I kissed you that night. I don't know why I did it, but when it comes to you I have learned that I can never trust myself. You were my first love. Now you're probably thinking "Yeah right, what about Dean?" Yes, Dean was my first boyfriend, but you and me, it was true adolescent love. And I don't know how to feel about that now, because it's supposed to stay just like that; adolescent.

I'm not with Logan anymore. He proposed to me (in front of a lot of people) and I said no. I miss him, but it is really for the best. Rory Huntzberger doesn't have the right ring to it, don't you think? And, as you so eloquently phrased it, he put me through a lot of shit that I didn't deserve. So I broke it off. And then your letter came.

You didn't sound like an idiot, by the way. A complete sap, perhaps, but not an idiot. I always knew you had a sappy side, Jess Mariano, and I'm honoured to have brought it forth in you. And I didn't laugh. There was nothing funny about your letter, Jess. I miss you very much.

Do you remember when you first told me you loved me? I never told you this, but I was about to kiss you when you ran to your car. I was fully ready to let you back into my life with all that came with you, all the baggage and anger. But then you ran, and I suddenly realized that that was what you'll always be doing. Running away from whatever we are, or could be.

And then you asked me to come away with you. I know I behaved unreasonably, but don't you see why? Don't you understand that I couldn't trust you? You had broken my heart two times already; I didn't think I could stand a third time. Turns out I broke my own heart when I said no, even though I knew I had made the right decision. I realize that I probably broke yours. You seemed so honest when you looked at me that night, and I just broke inside when you left.

I know that you're thinking "Who's the sap now?" right? Alright, I'm a sap, I admit it. I graduated from Yale, by the way. Thanks to you, for coming to me when I had left, and for straightening me out. I don't think I ever thanked you properly for that. I hope I will get the chance to.

I really did love you, Jess. I think some part of me always will. A pretty big part. The most part. And by the way, I've still got your copy of _A Farewell to Arms_. Not that I've read it or anything. I say boo for Hemingway!

Rory

PS. Alright, I did read it, and I kind of liked it. Happy now?

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**A/N:** I hadn't planned to make this a chaptered story, but I couldn't resist. Do you like it?


	3. Photoproofed kisses I remember so well

**A/N:** Here I am, writing the third chapter to something that was supposed to be a really short one-shot. Anyway, now we have some actual storytelling and not just letters. I really hope you'll like it and that you'll tell me your thoughts.

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**Chapter Three: Photo-proofed kisses I remember so well**

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Jess smiled as he put Rory's letter back into the envelope. He pressed the envelope against his chest and sighed. Then he realized what he was doing and coughed. He put the letter down on the table in front of him, folding his arms and looking at the wall. Then, in one sudden motion, he grabbed the letter, ripped it open and scanned it quickly.

"_I really did love you, Jess. I think some part of me always will. __A pretty big part. The most part."_

He smiled again. She still loved him. Fair enough, she hadn't exactly admitted it in the most straightforward way, but he found the words, somewhere under the Rory-ness that was her whole letter. He read it from the beginning again, but stopped at a part that bothered him.

"_How come you didn't send me the letter until now? It's been over a year since that night_."

Why the hell did she _think_ he sent it now? Because he hadn't had the guts to do it before, and because… he missed her. He missed her very much. And whatever if a whole year had gone by, he didn't think it ever would be completely over between them anyway.

Jess sighed and looked at another envelope, which was lying on the chair next to him. He put Rory's letter on the table and starting reading the other one, probably for the hundredth time.

"_Hey,_

_Your mother is having a huge party to celebrate her and TJ's wedding anniversary. Be there or be square._

_Uncle __Luke_"

The first time Jess had read it, he laughed so hard that his roommates Matthew and Chris both wanted him to sit down and tell them who died. But he stopped laughing when he realized something vital.

Luke is Liz's brother.

Lorelai is Luke's girlfriend.

Rory is Lorelai's daughter.

Holy shit.

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Rory stumbled out of the cab and threw money to the driver through the open window. It had driven almost twenty yards before she realized that she had forgotten one of her bags in the trunk. Throwing her humongous backpack – containing some pretty breakable gifts - on the grass, she ran like a madwoman, waving her arms and shouting after it in German – which was a really bad habit. It finally stopped, making her run right into it and probably causing internal bleedings.

Coming home was starting out great.

"Moooooom," she wailed when she had finally managed to squeeze through the front door with her six bags.

"Child!" Lorelai ran down the stairs, almost tumbled down the last three and threw herself at her daughter, making Rory drop all of her bags. Rory could swear she hard a cracking of porcelain in one of them and cursed inwardly.

"Do you know what 'arschgesicht' means in German?" Rory asked in a defeated tone.

"Yes, I am extremely fluent in German," said Lorelai in a most sarcastic voice. "Actually I'm thinking about switching my mother tongue to German."

"Well, apparently it does_ not _mean "Please stop so I can get my bag"," Rory grumbled. "And you can't switch mother tongue."

"Party pooper."

"I need coffee," Rory wailed. "I haven't had any real _coffee_ coffee in two weeks."

"Lemme guess, they only have Irish coffee in Germany?" Lorelai quipped. She instantly sobered when she saw Rory's puppy dog eyes. "_Jawohl_, coffee-coffee coming right up."

Rory followed her mother into the kitchen. "Are you always gonna call it coffee-coffee now?"

"At least for the next ten minutes or so," Lorelai grinned. "I happen to find it fabulous."

"Thought so," said Rory.

Lorelai winked at her and started rummaging through drawers and Rory took this opportunity to watch her. She certainly had a glow about her, looking happier than in a long time. She was wearing the necklace Luke had given her and sometimes touched it without thought. Rory found it very sweet, though it made her heart ache a bit. Her mother was happy and in love. Rory was… not. At least not happy, though the other part made her uncomfortable. She and Logan hadn't been broken up for very long, and that had been a serious relationship. But she hadn't been very happy with him, she realized that now. She thought back to what Jess had written about Logan in his letter. That had been a very bright point in an otherwise pretty dreary work trip. A letter from Jess. Who would've thought she'd ever receive a letter from Jess Mariano? The thought made her smile, her eyes far away from the kitchen in Stars Hollow.

"Hold it right there, missy!"

"What'd I do?" Rory yelped, looking wide-eyed.

"You fell in love! You met a handsome German and now you're gonna move away to Germany, away from your poor Mommy - who has done nothing but nourished and taken care of you since the day you were born - all alone in a large cold house with no one but a dog named Paul Anka, who can't even bark without scaring himself, as company!" Lorelai rambled panicked, but with a sparkle in her eyes.

Rory laughed out loud. "Mom, I'm _not _in love with anyone, I'm in the process of getting over Logan, remember?"

"I should hope so," Lorelai said suspiciously. "You just came home to your mother; I want to have you home until you're at least forty."

"Okay, Mommy, I'll stay till I'm forty," Rory quipped, imitating a five-year-old.

"Good girl," said Lorelai, grinning widely. "Now drink your coffee-coffee."

Rory chuckled and grabbed her cup, but as she drank it she couldn't help thinking about what a certain boy in Philadelphia was up to that very moment.


	4. Baby blues meet wide eyed browns

**A/N:** Thanks for all the great reviews, you guys are really awesome. Here's another chapter, I don't think I've ever updated a story as fast as I have this one. I hope you enjoy it, please tell me what you think.

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**Chapter Four: Baby blues meet wide eyed browns**

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Jess had not been this nervous many times in his life. When his mother sent him to Stars Hollow, the first time he kissed Rory, the first time he saw Rory after she'd been in Washington for the summer, when he left Stars Hollow, when he told Rory he loved her and when he asked her to come away with him. Shit, he thought, realizing something. Practically every time he'd ever been extremely nervous, it had had something to do with Rory Gilmore. It didn't surprise him so much as make him brood over why the hell he ever left in the first place. Going after his father had been a total bust, the guy was good for nothing in the end.

The truth probably was that Jess couldn't stick around and take it if the old man left again. But he would never admit to that, so the official story was that the guy was no good. And that's that, he supposed.

He began to think about how things could've been had he stayed. A wonderful picture played out before him; him and Rory. Together for more than a few weeks, not only doing things like reading, listening to movies and kissing. They could've done so much more, gotten to know each other so much better. When she had to go off to Yale, he could've worked at Luke's, making money so he could take her places, and maybe saving up some for the future.

Whoa. Him and Rory had never been that serious, had they? Could he really truly imagine being… married? Having kids? A dog? A freaking Volvo?

He shook his head. This was not something he wanted to think about right now, it was only making him even more nervous. And as he drove past the sign that said 'Stars Hollow', he did not feel like he'd come home.

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"Kid, you better take that off right now," Lorelai growled at her only daughter. "Take it off, I'm not even joking."

Rory grinned innocently. "But I want to twirl and swirl and dance the night away."

"That's it," Lorelai grumbled, and then she jumped at her daughter, tackling her onto the couch and pulling the skirt of the huge dress Rory was wearing.

"But it's so pretty!" Rory shrieked. Her mother was tickling her mercilessly. "I feel like a dancing queen!"

"It was the eighties, you brat! Everybody looked like this! I was the coolest mom in town!"

"Yeah, that's real tough in a town like Stars Hollow."

Lorelai let out a growl and went out into the kitchen. She needed coffee, lots and lots of coffee.

"Do you think boys will ask me to dance if I wear this tonight?" Rory asked her mother, sitting down at the kitchen table and watching her fiddle with the coffee maker.

"Nah, they'll probably just think you're a huge cake."

Rory looked down at the pink dress. "I see the resemblance. And I am now taking it off."

"Good choice," said Lorelai and grinned at her.

Rory went into her room and started to change into slightly less insane clothing. "So," she said in a loud voice to her mother in the kitchen. "Do you have any idea who's coming to this shindig tonight? Except the townspeople, of course."

Lorelai suddenly choked on her coffee, spluttering all over the table. When she'd pulled herself together, she grabbed some paper towels and started cleaning up her mess, avoiding the question as long as she could.

When she had thrown away the towels, refilled her coffee and sat down at the table again, she let out a weak, "No."

Rory was standing in the doorway with her arms folded, frowning. "You just put on quite the show. I am intrigued."

Lorelai's eyes widened and she frenetically searched after a white lie.

"I'm nervous!" she suddenly shrieked triumphantly, throwing a fist in the air. 

"Yay?" said Rory incredulously.

Lorelai just laughed high pitched. "Well, I'm meeting the in-laws, you know. Luke's cousins and uncles and old neighbours and the whole gang. So I'm really nervous 'cause I'm me, and maybe they're all like Luke, and it took like ten years for Luke to like me. Although maybe they're more like Liz. I hope so, because Liz liked me right away, but she's kinda batty, so maybe we should hope for Lukes instead of Lizs."

Rory looked at her with wide eyes. "Yes, let's hope for a whole gang of Lukes. That'll be a party."

Lorelai just shrugged and watched as her daughter grabbed a cup and poured coffee. How was she going to react when she found out who was coming to the party?

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Rory had waited for this day for many years. The day that her mother actually became insane.

"Honey, why don't you put on some lip gloss?" Lorelai said, patting Rory's knee.

Rory stared at her, frowning.

"What?" said Lorelai. "You look great when you wear lip gloss!"

"What's the big deal, mom? It's just another one of those parties in the town square, why do I need to wear lip gloss?"

"No reason," said Lorelai shortly.

"All right, then will you please stop harassing me about my hair and make up, I'm starting to feel like a Dame Edna-lookalike," Rory grinned.

"Please, Edna's got nothing on you," Lorelai quipped and winked at her.

"I can't figure out why that doesn't make me feel better," said Rory.

Lorelai laughed and parked the Jeep next to Luke's. As they got out, Rory thought about Jess, where was he now? What was he doing? Was he maybe thinking of her? She shook her head suddenly, not wanting to get too deep into those thoughts. Her conscience stung a bit when she remembered that she was supposed to mourn the Logan break-up, not think about her ex-boyfriend who left her four years ago.

"Okay, kid," Lorelai said and slung an arm around Rory's shoulders. "Let's go get them."

When they got to the huge party tent Lorelai told Rory she'd be back with drinks and a Luke in just a minute. Rory chuckled and nodded, starting to mingle a bit.

Then she spotted the back of a head somewhere in the crowd. She recognized it so much, brown hair with much volume. She had ran her hands through it numerous times, she had whispered things into it on cold nights when he had walked her home, she had sniffed it when she thought he wouldn't notice.

He turned around, almost as though he could sense her watching him, and saw Rory. He didn't look at all surprised to see her, he just looked scared. Rory's stomach dropped.

"Jess?" 


	5. Just like a sucker punch

**A/N:** Sorry for the time it took to update, but here it is. Hope you like it!

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**Chapter Five: Just Like a Sucker Punch**

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"Oh, my goodness," said Miss Patty, putting a hand on her large chest. "It's him! It's Luke's nephew!"

"Jeez, you're right," Babette answered, staring at Jess. "He's back."

Still gawking at an oblivious Jess, they moved over to the drinks table, grabbing the largest cups they could find and filling them with punch.

"Do you think Rory knows?" Miss Patty whispered frantically.

"I didn't even think about that!" Babette gasped. "She's gonna freak!"

They both looked over at Luke's and saw Lorelai's Jeep pull over and park right in front of the diner. Lorelai and Rory Gilmore got out of the vehicle and, chatting as usual, they made their way over to the tent. Then they saw Lorelai grinning at Rory and leaving her alone at the edge of the dance floor. Both Miss Patty and Babette slung their heads around to look at Jess. He didn't turn around. They turned back to Rory, who stood looking out across the floor.

"I don't think I've ever been this excited before!" Babette suddenly shrieked.

"Shh, dear, we're missing the action," Miss Patty hushed her, not taking her eyes off Rory.

Rory was smiling politely at everyone, crossing her arms over her chest and looking around. Then they saw her stop at someone. Her jaw dropped and for a second it looked like she was going to run away. Their eyes quickly turned to Jess, who seemed to feel eyes on him. He turned around and did a double take as he discovered Rory. They stared at each other, looking as though the mere presence of the other was burning into them.

"I think I'm going to faint," gasped Miss Patty.

"You're gonna have to catch me first, honey," said Babette, fanning herself.

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Rory didn't think she had laughed this much before in her life, not even when Lorelai had tried to make her a home cooked meal when she was ten.

"So I told him that even though it was a nice thought, I really didn't need more flannel shirts than the ones he'd already sent me," Jess finished, grinning widely.

"Poor Luke," said Rory, wiping her eyes. "There he was, just trying to be nice, thinking you didn't have much money –"

"And I completely blow him off," Jess finished her sentence. "Yeah, well, would I really look good in flannel?"

"Maybe," Rory allowed. "But only if you were wearing a backwards baseball cap."

"In that case, God no! Caps _so_ aren't my thing," Jess quipped, putting on a typical gay male accent.

Rory laughed, hitting Jess aimlessly on the shoulder.

"Gay, on the other hand, suits you," she said matter-of-factly.

"Oh, thank you so much," Jess responded sarcastically.

Rory had laughed so much in the last ten minutes that she didn't have anymore in her, so she just smiled at him. "It's good to see you, Jess," she said after looking at him a while. "You look like you've grown at least ten inches since the last time I saw you."

"Somehow I doubt that," Jess chuckled. "But I agree, it's really good to see you too."

They looked at each other, and Rory realized that she felt like a nervous sixteen-year-old girl again, which was really silly. But she had thought about Jess so much in the last weeks, since his letter, that suddenly seeing him was overwhelming.

"May I have the honour of refreshing your beverage?" Jess suddenly said, cutting right into her thoughtful mind.

"Sure," she said quietly and felt something in her belly flop when he took her cup and gave her his trademark lopsided smirk before pushing through the mass of people to the drinks table.

Rory looked at his retreating back and let out a sigh. It was so unnecessary and stupid to let herself feel anything at all for Jess besides nostalgia and fondness. She found it really unfair that she couldn't stop trying to remember what it had felt like when he used to kiss her all the time. It came back to her in bits and pieces, how he hummed low in his throat while he kissed her, how he roamed his fingers through her hair with one hand and let the other one slide up and down one of her arms.

She sighed again, deeper this time, and closed her eyes, willing herself to stop thinking about this. What were the odds of someone as amazing as Jess not having a steady girlfriend? A pretty, smart, bookworm-y, probably blonde bombshell. Rory already hated this fictional girl, hated her with fervour.

_No_, she said to herself, _there is absolutely no need for these thoughts and feelings. Just let it go, just as he has. He didn't come here for you; it's his mother's wedding anniversary for Christ's sake._

She had almost convinced herself of all this when Jess returned with a cup full of punch and an extremely sexy smile on his face, his eyes burning into hers.

Rory held her breath. She really needed to talk to her mother.

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She found Lorelai in a corner of the enormous tent, sitting on Luke's lap, passionately making out with him.

Rory cleared her throat. "Mom," she said in a pretty squeaky voice. There was a sound like a plunger being withdrawn from a sink, and Lorelai resurfaced, blinking rapidly. "Could I talk with you for a minute?"

"Of course, honey," she said brightly. "Bye, Luke," she said to the man she was sitting on, pecking him on the cheek before following Rory out of the tent and onto the gazebo.

"What's cooking, good-looking?" said Lorelai, flashing Rory a bright smile and sitting down on one of the benches, crossing her legs.

"Do you know who's here?" asked Rory, frowning and looking over at the tent.

"Well, the entire population of Stars Hollow, for one."

"And maybe someone who isn't from Stars Hollow?" Rory demanded.

"Oh," said Lorelai. "Yes."

"Close enough," Rory said, sounding panicked. "Jess!"

"Right," said Lorelai apologetically.

"You knew?" Rory gasped.

"Yes," her mother answered, unusually short.

"My own mother! Going behind my back, keeping secrets about her daughter's ex-boyfriends who lives in Philadelphia and sends letters, but has moved on and is dating some slutty blonde who never would have gotten into Yale unless she was Reese Witherspoon!"

"Breathe, babe," Lorelai patted Rory on the shoulder. "Yes, I knew Luke had invited Jess, but I wasn't sure if he was going to come, so I didn't want to worry you in case he didn't."

"He sent me a letter, Mom. Right before I went to Germany. He sent me a depressing, lovelorn, amazing letter."

"So he must like you then!" Lorelai burst out.

"No," Rory shook her head. "The letter was like a year old. I don't know why he sent it."

"Well, it has to mean something," said Lorelai. "You don't just mail amazing letters because you have nothing else to do."

Rory shrugged her shoulders, pouting slightly.

"So," said Lorelai carefully. "Do you still - ?"

"Yes," Rory snapped her head back to her mother. "I still, I very still. But I'm supposed to be grieving the Logan break-up. And Jess lives in Philadelphia, he has a whole life there now. And he's probably not even interested anymore."

Lorelai put her arms around her daughter.

"Chin up, baby," she said softly. "Who could ever get over you?"

Rory still pouted as she looked over at the tent, snuggling in her mother's arms. Suddenly Jess caught her eye, standing at the edge of the tent. Rory smiled and he smiled back and waved.

_If only he wasn't so damn cute_, Rory thought, sighing heavily.


	6. You Can’t Be Missed If You Never Go Away

**A/N:** Sorry, sorry, and sorry. Real life's crazy, as the saying goes. Hope you like this one. Feel free to tell me what you would like to see happening to our favourite pair in the future.

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**Chapter Six: You C****an't Be Missed If You Never Go Away**

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_Dear, dear Rory, you just don't know what you do to me._

Jess sighed, taking his eyes off the dark beauty, and fumbled through the pockets of his old leather jacket for a cigarette. Finding one, he let out a soft "aha" and put it in his mouth. The flame from his lighter made his face glow a dull orange for a second, and then he took a deep drag, letting the nicotine wash through his system.

Through the smoke he exhaled, he could see the girl he'd thought about constantly since he'd been seventeen. She was doing an extremely silly dance with Lane, imitating John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. He couldn't help a small smile from appearing on his face.

When he'd seen her earlier in the evening, standing there at the other side of the dance floor, he had honestly thought he'd had a heart attack. He didn't know why, he'd been fully aware that she would be there, but he thought he probably hadn't prepared himself enough for the emotional blow it always was to see her.

Their first conversation since the Philadelphia fiasco had actually gone pretty well, if you don't count the awkwardness that always hung around the two of them when they were together nowadays.

He heard an excited yell of "Whoopee!" and looked over to the right of the dance floor. Lorelai had started a provisory limbo contest, and was jumping up and down wildly while Babette tried to get under the broomstick that Kirk and Taylor was holding between them. Jess almost cracked a smile as he watched the excitement on Lorelai's face. He had once disliked this woman almost more than anyone in the world. Yes, it did seem unnecessary and uncalled for, but the truth was that he had seen himself in her. Only that she had made it. She had gotten out of the bad attitude, the bad karma, and the bad practically everything. Then there was the thing that had made him feel even worse.

It was the jealousy, the fact that Lorelai always would be the most important person in Rory's life. There was no logic in what he had been feeling, since Lorelai _is_ Rory's mother, after all, but still… But then again, in some ways he knew Rory more than Lorelai ever could.

He didn't hate Lorelai anymore, because he had accepted that there was nothing he could do. And besides, Rory didn't even care about him anymore. When he had seen her that same night, he had thought that maybe – just maybe – she might still feel something. It was there, in her eyes, the same spark that made him go after her even when he knew she was with Dean. That spark had been gone when he had seen her at her grandmother's house. Because her dreams, hopes and everything that made Rory special had disappeared. She had been on the road to become _him_, what he had once been, and that had scared him. It had scared him so much that he almost had wanted to run away from her, _again._ But not because he loved her, this time, but because he feared what he still loved so much was gone.

The spark had come back gradually. When she came to him in Philadelphia, he had seen a hint of it right before they kissed. Then, when he opened his eyes, it was gone. It was just like it had never been there in the first place. He wondered if it had been, or if his hopes had just fooled him.

But now, finally, he saw that she was back. His Rory was back.

He realized that he had missed her so much, so very much, and he didn't even notice that his cigarette had burned out.

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Rory laughed at what Lane had yelled over the music to her, and looked around her discreetly, pretending to rearrange her hairpin. There he was, standing solemnly by the drinks table, not surprisingly. He caught her staring at him and raised his glass slightly to her. She blushed and looked away.

Lane was looking at her with an eyebrow raised. "You know," she yelled into her ear. "With having children comes the motherly knowledge."

Rory chuckled. "Oh, really?" she said sarcastically.

Then she looked over at Jess, who was now talking to Miss Patty with a slightly panicked look on his face. He looked like a modern Mr. Darcy, and she suddenly couldn't believe she hadn't made the connection before. That made her Elizabeth, Lorelai Mrs. Bennett and Lane Jane.

"Rory?" Lane said, waving a hand in front of her face. "Rooooory?" she sing-songed when she got no response.

Okay, Lane's more like a Lydia.

"Yeah?" Rory answered, finally looking at Lane.

"Let's get some air."

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Lane led a pretty limp Rory to the gazebo; they both sat down on one of the benches and crossed their legs and arms. Silence ensued.

"What's going on with you?" Lane suddenly said gently.

"Not much," Rory responded, "everything's kind of okay right now."

"Glad to hear it," Lane said, nodding. She knew that something was up, and she thought she knew what this something was.

"Alright, everything's not alright," Rory suddenly burst out. "Not at all."

"I thought so," Lane said, smiling slightly and leaning towards Rory. "Is it Jess?"

Rory blushed and sat back against the back of the bench again. "Is _what_ Jess?"

"I think you know what I'm talking about, Rory," Lane said gently, putting a hand on her best friend's shoulder.

"Okay, I do," Rory allowed. "But it sucks."

Lane felt confused suddenly; it was so obvious to her that Jess still had feelings for Rory. "What sucks? Don't you have any feelings for him at all?"

"Of course I do!" she said instantly. "I mean, no I don't. Or yes. Okay, alright, I really do."

"I thought so," Lane repeated herself.

"But even if he does still care about me that way, which he doesn't, how can I trust him?" Rory said, looking and sounding very emotional. "He left me. I thought he'd always be there, that he loved me and that he would straighten himself out for me, _with_ me. But he left the second it got tough, and I feel that I took him for granted before he did." She broke off and turned away, tears glistening in her big eyes.

"You know what they say," Lane whispered to her, stroking her hair. "You can't be missed if you never go away. Maybe since he left you, he gave you a chance to realize how you feel about him."

Rory didn't look up, but wiped her eyes quietly with her hand.

"If you love him, tell him," Lane said in a soft voice, still running her fingers through her best friend's hair soothingly. "Because I think he loves you too, and I think that he is scared of how you feel. It's an evil circle."

At these words, Rory finally looked up at her. She even gave her a weak but sweet smile.

Lane suddenly realized that someone was running toward them. "Zach?"

Her husband stopped suddenly, his hands were in the back pockets of his jeans, and his hair was extremely tousled. "Hey Rory," he said, nodding nervously to them. "I'm sorry, Lane, but the twins are screaming again."

"So?" Lane said, barely turning away from Rory. "Make them stop, you know what to do."

"No, dude," Zach said. "It's the Slipknot scream, I swear."

"Damn," Lane said as Zach ran back to the tent, feeling like she was betraying Rory. "Sorry, Rory, but I really have to –"

"Go," Rory interrupted her. "I'll just take a moment and then I'll be partying like it's 1999 again."

Lane chuckled and turned around to go.

"Lane?" she suddenly heard Rory call after her. She turned back around to face her friend. "Thank you."

She nodded and turned back again, heading in to take care of her other family. When she had gotten halfway, she almost walked into Jess. He said hi, excused himself and went on toward the gazebo where Rory was still sitting. Lane stood and watched them.

"Hey," Jess said, slowly sitting down next to Rory, looking nervous.

"Hey," Rory imitated him, turning away to wipe away the last of her tears, then she gave him a small smile that said very much.

Lane grinned. She had a feeling that her friend wouldn't be crying for too long.


End file.
